Do You Hear Something Mr. Groundhog?

Pay no attention to the man walking around outside your den Mr. Groundhog. Oh! I forgot you're sound asleep anyways. You won't be waking up till the middle of March. Some of us have to freeze our butts off for a living.

That man you might hear, well his name is Bill Murray, he likes to make movies and make clay figures. Don't be nervous, those are just models of you. He is paying homage to the great and glorious Groundhog. Pay no attention to those wires he is sticking up that model's butt. Just ignore that box marked C-4. It's just a type of modelling clay. When you wake up (if you wake up) you might notice he has done some renovation to your property. Don't worry about that. We will fix it up very nicely FOR THE NEXT ADMINISTRATION, you fat fury ball of gray hair. You might want to employ some security guards. Make sure they don't mind working outside while you sleep your ass off all winter.

BTW Mr Goundhog, alias Gopher, alias Woodchuck, why do you have to have so many names? Are you hiding a sortid past? Are you in the government relocation program? What's the deal Mr. G.? It's time you come clean and spill it! We need to know the TRUTH. Heck even Bill Clinton came clean (eventually) Pun intended.

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