Paranoia Strikes Mr. Groundhog

Fear has Mr. Groundhog acting strangely after nearly 7 months of relentless campaigning to oust him from his job in Punxautawney, Pennsylvania.

Yes Mr. Groundhog we see you beginning to crack. The public doesn't like an animal that can't handle pressure. No wonder you screw up your forecasts every February 2nd. You were wrong last year and the year before. Your record clearly shows you have lost your effectivness in the work place.

Ha, what work place? You sit in your cushy little den all nice and warm cuddled up to sleep all winter. Then you come out once a year and give us this bogus weather forecast. How do you work with? The moles and squirrels? Yah I bet they love having your lazy butt in the office.

I bet you have cable in that den. Really Mr Groundhog, tell us what you watch. I think you're a closet fan of  "So You Think You Can Dance," aren't you? Yah you wish you could dance. Can you just imagine that body gliding lightly over the dance floor? Nooooo. I don't even want to go there.

Well Mr. Groundhog, remember we are coming after you to take over your job. Next November 2nd there will be a new fox in town and he KNOWS weather. You might as well get backed now, the end is coming soon.

PS: I heard the Army is looking for tunnel diggers. You should go enlist!


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